These past few months have been a struggle for me, both as a person and as a writer. I haven’t written a thing in only Loki knows when…I lost count a while ago. The stress of major life changes with the addition of depression as a symptom as one of those changes has really taken a toll on my life and how I have been able to live it. It has only been within the last week that the writing bug has come home to me. There is only one more hurdle that I have to overcome: face the changes of the past few months through written form.
Although there have been two major changes in my life as of late, this post will focus mainly on the one that I will have to monitor for the rest of my life: hypothyroidism. Although millions of Americans have this condition/disease, it isn’t talked about very much. Actually, less than not very much. The only reason I suspected that I had it was because everyone on my mother’s side of the family has it; but I only knew two of the symptoms. And those two symptoms were what motivated me to finally see a doctor.
This time last year, I was a size 0. In July, I was a size 2 (not bad in weight gain sense), but by October/November, I was a size 8. I’m 5 foot nothing. This is a huge change. Add this with being chronically tired. Not, “I should go to bed early tired”, but “I better sit down or I’ll fall down I’m so tired.” So I went to the doctor. A week later he confirmed that I do have an under active thyroid. Yay.
Honestly, it’s nothing life threatening, just really inconvenient and the symptoms are horrible. I didn’t realize that my depression, hair loss, chronically being cold, dry skin, etc directly stemmed from my under active thyroid. My weight gain was linked to my thyroid not releasing enough T4 and T3 to jump start my metabolism. Hello weight gain!
To combat this is as easy as taking one pill in the morning, every morning. The hang up is, it can takes MONTHS to get to the proper dosage and once that is found, it can take several more months before it takes full effect and a difference is seen in the symptoms. Something fun to look forward to, right? Not really actually. I feel like the rabbit wearing the hat with the dangling carrot in front of my face. I can see the results, but I can’t reach them. Talk about torture.
To be safe, the doctor also ordered an ultrasound to be done on my thyroid, mainly to check for nodules (which can be pre-cancerous) and for enlargement since I have been diagnosed so young. When I went to get the ultrasound, I wasn’t nervous…at first. I grew more anxious at the tech kept tilting the monitor before taking the screenshots. Don’t panic. It’s most likely a glare…from the small wattage bulb in the corner.
A few hours later, a nurse from my doctor’s office called. The results came back abnormal and they want to schedule another ultrasound in six months. Don’t panic. She didn’t say much else. Sigh. So….hello internet, we meet again. Turns out, having an abnormal thyroid is quite common with this condition. Nothing to worry about; just something to keep an eye on.
So now, all it is is a waiting detective game to find the proper dosage and for my symptoms to subside. My biggest obstacle at this point is my weight. It’s very difficult to lose the weight I have gained and to stay motivated and energized to work out. I’m crossing my fingers that it plays out quickly, as I want to be able to lay out in the sun on the beach in Mexico in a bikini…not a cover up. This will be an ongoing battle, but I plan to win.